Oh, what a night...

And I'm not talking about late December back in '63.

The past few days have been a struggle for me. I feel kind of angst-ridden, almost like an emo-kid. Juggling many things is wearing and I would kill for a day where I had no responsibilities to family, friends, school, work or anything else and just read. Or play video games.

Today's struggles revolve primarily around my inability to get a base structure established for my ministry, whether it be because of lack of time or lack of motivation when I have time (greater of the two culprits). I don't remember where I was reading about this, but what I read was that when people are struggling with an addiction, they feel that they are justified in reverting at times b/c they have worked so hard and deserve a reward for their efforts. Well, no fears about me having an addiction, but many times when I have time to do what I need to do, I also want to do something else. Something 'muy divertido' (which means 'very fun' for those of you that don't speak French [and, yes, I know it's actually Spanish]). Sometimes I can fight it and get some work done, other times I think of other things I can be doing that are work related, but more enjoyable and other times I loaf.

Add to this the fact that I am actually in a church now that considers me and the youth ministry a part of the church at large. So people come to me and expect me to know things and to make decisions about stuff that is not high on my fun-o-meter (or even my care-o-meter). Getting pulled in directions other than where I think I need to go in my primary job (youth ministry) gets old. Yet I feel like I can't just say, "Not my job." Ergh...

Anyway, one deep thing that I am pondering afresh is the perilous line that 'postmodern' Christianity walks dividing addressing a culture all about ourselves and proclaiming (and living) a gospel that is all about Christ. It's really easy to dip from one into the other and then come back again, which gives real credibility to the alarms thrown out by some groups that 'relevance will lead to compromise of the Gospel.' How hard to portray a faith of selflessness to a generation that is selfabsorbed!

K.J. out.

Quick and easy...

Just a quick note, primarily to keep me in the habit of checking in here and putting down some thoughts. For those of you that come by to see what I have to say, I swear that I will say something worthwhile at some point. Just don't know when that point will be.

Again, I find myself in the predicament of having misjudged either time or methodology on an assignment. Will I complete this one on time? Only God knows.

The Joys of Pastorhood or Pastordom or whatever

Today has been an exercise in frustration. Why? Because people have lives, their lives are messy and those lives "intrude" on those of us that are pastors.

I don't feel frustrated towards those who came and 'interrupted.' They came with legitimate desire for help and I feel privileged to help them in any way that I can. I would describe my frustration as targeted at me and my difficulty in shifting myself away from my tasks and towards those seeking help.

That's all. Over and out...

Contractual Love?

So, reading in my one book for class, the author states that the understanding of the salvation promise through ancient contractual terms is helpful, but fails to fully grasp the understanding of promise.

Having never really thought of the promise of Christ after the fall as anything more than a covenant relationship, this made me stop, jot some notes in the margin and exclaim, "Hey! I have something to blog about today!" Since then I have spun my chair 90-degrees east and started typing.

Seriously, I have infrequently really considered the depth of grace in terms of the gift of salvation. Often I (and I assume many others) have thought of it as, "Well, I believe in the gift, I accept it and I follow Christ, so contractually I am owed salvation." But aren't contracts typically based on some means of mutual benefit? And what does humanity have to offer God that would necessitate a contract between the two?

OK, the obvious answer to what humanity has to offer God is love. That is what he is after, but can you contract love from someone? Is it really something that is given "in exchange for?" So, conceptualizing salvation as a contract is woefully inadequate if consider solely in this dimension.

But, then I think, "What about the OT covenants? How do they fare in the covenant comparison?" Well, there is help in understanding the responsibility of the two parties in a contract and understanding exactly what God provides to humanity through them (since he is unwilling to break his word), but, again, what would God gain from the human fulfillment of the terms? Did he really need a people to call his own when he could call the whole universe his own? No. God sought voluntary following (i.e. love) through a guiding framework of the law. However, his promise was much greater than his covenant since he knew that he would send the Christ b/c man could never fulfill there end of the bargain.

Conclusion: Grace trumps law/covenant.

And thus concludes my "Aha" moment of the day.

Spending time on the phone with Verizon is what I think Catholics think Purgatory is like. You're waiting on line for an "available agent," then when one picks up, they're monotone and frequently not very helpful. In order to get anywhere you have to pray and petition those who love you to pray as well so that you can get to someone who actually can help you in your plight. In the end, you either hang up happy and singing praises or your burning with frustration.

In Response to A-Dub

Since the 12th sign of the Apocalypse has arrived with AW posting his own blog, and having been repeatedly hassled by Tim, I have taken the foray into blogdom. Honestly, this is a return as I used to sport a Xanga by the same name.

So, feel free to stop by at times, see what random inanity managed to evade the Politically Correct Censor inside my head through my fingers.